Saturday, September 27, 2008

Lest I get out of line...

Tonight while I was getting dressed for a church meeting, our 5-year-old came in to chat with me. We were having a nice little visit when our 3-year-old daughter came in to ask her sister to come run around with her. This was the conversation I overheard:

3-year-old: Come play! Let's run in our new shoes!

5-year-old: Ummm, not right now.

3-year-old: Please??

5-year-old: [Stepping closer to her sister, and lowering her voice so I wouldn't hear] I need to stay here and keep an eye on mommy, to make sure she makes right choices.

I'm still chuckling about that one! :) I laughed so hard when they left. I can't imagine what she thought I was going to do. Good thing I've got someone keeping an eye on me. This mommy can sure get out of hand. :)

Friday, September 26, 2008

I'm not poop

Each of the girls are taking to their lives being turned upside-down in different ways. The 2-year old calls herself Cole or Franklin now, depending on her mood, and her voice has risen about 80 decibels. Most of them have had bouts with fits that have been pretty strong and difficult. One of them cries all the time. There have been lots of different things, of course, and that's to be expected.

At the end of one particularly looooong day this week, I said, "I'm pooped!"

The 5-year-old, ever quick, immediately said, "Pooped means tired."

Just as quickly, the 3-year-old said, "Mommy, you're not poop!"

So, no matter how long and difficult these days might get with daddy away, at least I have this one consolation: I'm not poop.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Some pictures for daddy

Here are some pictures of the girls playing outside today! We raced and raced and had lots of fun!

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

What a difference a smile makes!

Our oldest was really nervous to go to church on Sunday. She felt so worried about not having any daddy or any friends in a different place (we are going with Grandma and Grandpa for a little while). I talked to her about making new friends, and making sure she smiled at everyone instead of crying or frowning.

I was so proud of her. She tried so hard! We sat behind a really nice family with four darling kids. One of them, a little girl, turned around to peek at our girls. Our 5-year-old was shy at first, but I watched her out of the corner of my eye. She took a deep breath and....smiled. :) The little girl turned back around. Our daughter seemed perplexed, but I gave her a thumbs-up. When the little girl in front turned around for another peek, our daughter was brave and smiled again. :) This time, the girl smiled back.

She was elated! I was so proud of her. She can be so shy, and I completely understand how that feels, so I was so proud of her for making such an effort to be friendly.

Next I saw her sifting through my purse. She found a scrap of paper and a pen and drew a smiley face and wrote, "hi!" She then folded it into a microscopic wad and passed it to the little girl. The new little friend then took a minute, folded up her own little note, and passed it back.

I don't care if it was irreverent or not to be doing in church. I was SO happy and so proud of my daughter. As the meeting progressed, so did the little notes, ending with one to my daughter that said, "Do you want to be pen pals?"

As we had talked that morning, I had sensed my daughter's true worry and loneliness. I had prayed silently on the way into church that she would be blessed and helped in this difficult time for her. I know that Heavenly Father hears and answers our prayers, and that He loves all of His children and cares deeply for them. I am so grateful for that sweet little girl, and for her kind parents who let her write notes to my daughter. :)

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Rocky Mountain High!

For anyone wondering how Colorado looks on Matt, it looks great! :) He went to a Rockies game last night and had a lot of fun. :) He has been figuring out things really well and finding his way around like a pro. We Love you, Matt!

Saturday, September 20, 2008


A couple weeks ago, I had a very strong feeling to write some things down so that I would remember them. I am grateful I followed the prompting. Tonight everything started to weigh down on me a bit, and I felt somewhat tired and discouraged. I happened across my notes from a few weeks ago, though, and instantly I felt my spirits lift. I am constantly amazed at the small (yet not small at all) miracles that are happening constantly in our lives. Our Father loves us and is constantly helping us, if we just listen. I feel such peace in knowing that He knows what will happen next, and what I will need. Just knowing that helps me to feel that I don't need to see exactly how it will all work out...I just have to follow step by step as He guides me, and I don't need to worry about anything else. I am so grateful that weeks ago I had a prompting that would lift me later on, and probably will continue to. I feel so grateful for that loving kindness. :)

Smashed Tomatoes

That's what our 3-year-old called the yummy mashed potatoes that Grandma made for dinner last night. I got such a chuckle out of it, I wanted to write it down! :)

The girls and I are doing well's a sunny, bright day, and they're playing outside with Grandpa. For me, the reality is setting in more and more that I won't see Matt for a while, and that has been hard, but I find that at the same time, my heart has been filled with gratitude for the love that we have for each other, as well as the love and kindness that both our families have showed to us. Matt's mom and dad have been so generous to us in allowing us to stay so that our house can stay pristine, and they have given so much patience and kindness. My sister called me yesterday with such a nice surprise, and I was so touched by her kindness that I don't think I can tell her how much it means to me right now! And CELL PHONES are heaven-sent. :) I love that Matt and I can still talk all the time. :) He is loving Colorado, and that makes me so happy!

Thursday, September 18, 2008

God be with you till we meet again!

Today we put Matt on a plane to Colorado. Anyone who knows Matt and I knows how difficult it is for us to be apart. Words can't really describe it, so I don't think I will attempt it. Suffice it to say that he is the Love of my life, dearer than the air I breathe. I am so happy for this new job and new life, though it will be very hard to be apart for a time. I am grateful for the comfort and companionship of family and friends at this time. The girls and I feel so grateful to have this time with mom and dad right now. I feel so blessed and so full of gratitude for the multitude of blessings in our life. I am thankful for the calm assurance that we are on the right track.

Blessed am I among women.

All of daddy's girls. :)

We love you, sweetheart! All of our Love is with you.

Sunday, September 14, 2008

One last time

Well, as you all know, we've been trying to get ready to move! It has been an exciting time as we look forward to our new life and everything that awaits us. :) It has been hard to say good-bye to all of the sweet, wonderful women that Matt has worked with at Hospice. We are truly grateful for their love, kindness, and friendship, and will never forget them.

Tonight is the last night in our house. Matt will be leaving in a few days, and the girls and I will be staying for just a little while with Matt's mom and dad, so that the house can stay clean to sell and the girls and I can focus on school and being happy. :) Today, dad, mom, and Mark came to help us move boxes and paint, and we have been inexpressibly grateful for their help. They really helped us make some headway. :) We are excited for moving on!

The girls have a fun tradition with their daddy. On the nights when he has been home, he loves to carry all three of them up the stairs to bed at once. They love it so much and it turns into quite the giggle fest. :) Tonight I had to take a picture as they headed up those stairs one last time...

Things like this always tug at my heartstrings. It is hard to leave those special moments and places behind. But I feel joy at this transition. I feel peace in my heart about our life. I have had the opportunity to be up late in the quiet tonight. It has given me a chance to reflect on the loving kindess and guidance of my Father in Heaven. Though there are always challenges, like a 2-year-old who has colored on the same wall three times this week, a wall that I have painted three times this week (you see why we must move in with mom and dad for a while to have a chance at selling???), broken stoves, insurance tangles, replacing the tires on two cars in one week, and you know, life, I just feel peace tonight. I have seen first-hand time and time again the loving guidance of my Father. I know He has led us here, and I know He'll help us get there.

So, with that, I'm going to bed. After all, tomorrow's a big day. I have to take the 2-year-old and her sisters out to mom and dad's so that she can color on their walls instead.

(just kidding, mom and dad) :)

Thursday, September 11, 2008

A week for teeth!!!

Today is a very big day for our 5-year-old! She lost her first tooth today! She is so excited to be "all grown up" now. :) Coincidentally, she lost the tooth that her baby sister gained this week. :)

Her "momma tooth" was coming in already behind it, as you'll probably be able to see from these pictures, so this momma is very relieved that the baby tooth is out and there is now room for that momma tooth to hopefully move forward now. :)

We've had visions of "sugar plums".... er, tooth fairies, for a couple of weeks now. Hooray for being a big girl!

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

God's opportunity

Well, I don't have much time for blogging these days. :) I know all my avid readers have missed me...both of them. :) It seems I don't have time for much this week other than packing, getting the sniffles as I get overwhelmed, eating the sniffles away, junking stuff, packing, sniffling, eating, eating, and eating. Oh, and did I mention that I deal with stress by eating??? :)

Eating aside, I am really doing pretty well. I've gained 4.5 pounds this week, but who cares. The girls are trying so hard to be good, and we're really seeing light at the end of the tunnel here. :) I have been listening to lots of talks while I work and the girls sleep, and I just love that because I feel uplifted and blessed, rather than overwhelmed and stressed. Last night I listened to the CES broadcast from Sunday by Jeffrey R. Holland. It was amazing, and I highly recommend it. I feel so many times like I am blessed with these talks by these wonderful leaders, which answer questions that I needed help with. You can go here to listen. But one little nugget he said was that "Man's adversity is God's opportunity." There is so much more depth in the talk, and I hope you'll find a chance to listen. It is wonderful. We can find choice, holy moments of sacred teaching, even in the most difficult of circumstances in our lives. We are so very blessed by a Heavenly Father who loves us.

Monday, September 8, 2008

Early bloomer

And the baby leads the pack...emerging with her first tooth an entire month before her other sisters did!! She is now the proud new owner of a very poky little right tooth!! Last night she turned 7 months old, and she and grandpa played with that metal spoon long enough to finally help it pop right out!! :) Here she is, saying, "Thanks, Grandpa!"

Saturday, September 6, 2008

How to melt a daddy's heart 101

1) Have big blue eyes.
2) Have a head full of curls.
3) Find some old, filthy pink shoes that you absolutely adore for no known reason, and put them on your feet backwards.
4) As your parents are preparing to get everyone out the door for a church meeting, approach your father and sweetly ask, "Daddy, you please say yes I wear these shoes??"

I think you'll find you can do just about anything if you say so sweetly, "Daddy, you please say yes?"

Friday, September 5, 2008

It doth not yet appear what we shall be

I prayed to God to save me when the foundations of my house began to shake and when I looked up, . . . I realized it was God who was shaking down my house...

Is there any feeling more thrilling than the return of joy? How does joy send up its tender shoots through the dense and rocky soil of disappointment and despair and around the weeds of regret? One minute, like a garden in the dead of winter, you are dormant, and life's compromises and complexities have become so tangled that your own growth is stunted. Then suddenly a warmth and light surround you, and even though nothing may have changed outwardly, once again you begin to feel a pulse.

- Sarah Ban Breathnach

Many of you know that I have been undergoing a deep personal struggle these past few months. It has been a time of choosing for me. I think that one of the hardest things about this particular trial has been the amount of choice I have actually had...I could easily choose to do something that I wanted to do, but I felt I had been given a different answer. That answer was so painful to me that it felt my whole future was clouded and uncertain, as I could not imagine what I could possibly do or become now.

At one point, though, not long after this trial started, I decided that I truly wanted to follow my Father in Heaven, to do what He wanted me to do, even if I felt suffering. And though I know my trials are not as great as so many others', my own suffering has been difficult to bear. But as I have tried to truly give my will these past months, and to seek for His, I have felt a change come over me. I have been filled with compassion. My heart, though I am so very imperfect, truly desires to know and do His will for me. My eyes have been opened to my miraculous blessings. My mind is softer. My gratitude is full and genuine, and I see blessings that I never saw before.

I still do not know what the future holds. But joy has returned, and peace is in my heart. I do not know what I shall be, but I do know, that more than anything, I want to be like Him, even if it means walking through sorrow at times. I see just how far I must go to improve myself, but I also have faith that He will help me, and that the journey of progression will be worth it. My greatest hope is this:
Beloved, now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is.
1 John 3:2

Wednesday, September 3, 2008

The best words

Why is it that the second you open the windows, your once calm, quiet children suddenly turn into loud, wailing children???

Needless to say, tonight's been long, hot, sticky, and somewhat tough. :)

And I've not been the perfect mother.

But I must say, something that I have learned is that the most wonderful words we say, second only to true "I love you's," and sometimes more important, are the words, "I'm sorry."

Sometimes it's really humbling to tell your kids you're sorry for being grumpy. I am grateful for the little whispers of the Spirit to go and talk to my daughter who was in bed. The peace and serenity that returns to our home when we all start to say we're sorry to each other is unmatched. I am so grateful for Matt, who has been our family teacher on communication and admitting our errors and trying to correct them.

Monday, September 1, 2008

Food, glorious food!

Well, tonight was a big night for our baby. :) She had her first bites of food tonight! I cannot believe she is old enough. :) But she loved it, and we had a great time feeding her. Her sweet daddy fed her the very first bites of food she's ever had, which meant a great deal to me, since soon we will be apart for a little while. As you can see from the pictures, she had a wonderful time! :)

The "first bites" are always so exciting, yet bittersweet for me, because up until now, every single bit of nourishment she has had has come from me. That is always a wonderful feeling for me, and always a teensy bit sad when they start on food, but it is so wonderful to watch them progress and move forward positively in their lives, even when they're this small. :)

(Please ignore the massive moving mess in the background! :) )