Friday, October 31, 2008

Happy Halloween!

Slowly we're getting settled in...blogging will resume very soon!! :)

Sunday, October 19, 2008


The whole concept of "home" has been on my mind a great deal lately. Yesterday we finished packing up everything from our home out here (and I am inexpressibly grateful to those who did it all). I was surprised by my reaction when it was all was a mixture of love and exhaustion, I think. When I walked through my sweet little home to shut off all of the lights, I cried quite a lot. I felt like I was leaving a dear friend. This home has been a cherished sanctuary where I have welcomed babies home, rocked them to sleep, and loved my husband and family.

As I drove back to mom and dad's home, I thought about home and where it would be now and how I would make it "home" again. When I arrived, dad was on the porch steps with the girls, who shouted, "Mommy, you're home!!" Inside, mom greeted me with birthday cake and a big "Welcome home!" When I talked to Matt that evening, he said, "I miss you so much. I can't wait until you're home."

Today in church the children were practicing for their big primary presentation that they have every year. Being in primary myself until recently, I knew all of the songs and sang along to help my girls feel more at home in the new group. They were really struggling at church today and I caught myself wondering if I would ever be able to create home for my family again, after this big upheaval. I silently prayed for help.

Not long after that prayer, the children began to sing their next song, entitled "Home." It's a song that talks about love and kindness and fathers and mothers and children, and I started to cry as I heard it, because I wanted to create that peace in my family again. But when the children started on the third verse, my heart filled with peace.
Home is where our Father,
Who dwells in heaven above,
Guides us in the way we live
And lets us feel His love.
Home is not so much where you live or what's happening right then, nearly as much as it is a state of living your life with your Heavenly Father. Home is His love, His kindness, and His guidance.

I left one home yesterday, and tomorrow I am leaving another dear home, my dad and mom's home, and starting for Matt, who is waiting for us at our new home. But I feel peace in knowing that home is where our Father guides and loves us.

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Autumn smiles...

...complete with a case of pinkeye and a lollipop.

Nothing better to do

Today was a really long day. And I mean a REALLY. LONG. DAY. Good day, but long. It involved hitting snooze (never a good idea for me), trying madly to work out details for moving this weekend, rushing to a dr. appointment an hour away with four tired kids, one of whom was very sick, sitting in a 8x8 office with said children plus a doctor for almost two hours, saying good-bye to a doctor who has been a cherished friend to our family, seeing one of my dearest friends in the world and having to say good-bye to her, getting a haircut with four kids in tow, taking them to McDonald's for a reward for being so great all day, cleaning up after my 2-year-old threw up three times all over her siblings and their chicken nuggets, not to mention the rest of the restaurant, while being stared at by everyone else there, getting new medical equipment with all of the kids trying to wait patiently while their mother went through reams of paperwork, then piling them all into one of those enormous carts at walmart and wheeling them all around while waiting an hour and a half for prescriptions to be ready. Later it also involved eye drops and 32 ounces of laundry soap all over the floor. But let's stop there.

I got lots of "looks" today. One young man, who obviously spent more time on his hair and makeup (yes, makeup) today than I do all week, looked at me with all of my girls, turned to his friend, and swearing, said, "Look at all those kids. Doesn't she have anything better to do?"

No. I do not have anything better to do. Because there is nothing better that I could ever possibily do. Let my kids throw up in McDonalds and cry through the whole store. I wouldn't change it for a second. I may be tired at the end of the day, but my heart sings when they call me "mommy."

I'm an intelligent woman. I was valedictorian. I have a degree from a prestigious university where I was a first violin in the symphony orchestra and where I had the opportunity to lecture to hundreds of students and faculty alike. I am a yoga certified instructor with my own line of yoga videos. My job in college was writing a dictionary. But ask me what my best work is, what my greatest accomplishment is, and I will tell you without a moment's hesitation. My children. They are my greatest work, and they are what I live for and what I have waited all my life for. The best and highest honor and compliment I can give myself is summed up in four words:

I am a mother.

Sunday, October 12, 2008

Saturday, October 11, 2008

Football funnies

The other day, Grandpa, the girls, and I went to Mark's football game. It was lots of fun to see Mark tackling and running around, but while we adults cheered, the comments from the girls were like these:

Ahh! Mark got squashed!

Why are they squishing him?

Why won't that boy share the ball?

Why do they knock each other over?

I'm tired of football.
Our 5-year-old was especially fascinated by the pom-poms the cheerleaders had. She thought those were pretty neat. So the next day in Rite Aid, when she saw some toy pom-poms, she of course asked if they could have some. Since they were being so good, I said they could each get one. [The ride home consisted of discussing what was appropriate and what was not appropriate that they had seen the cheerleaders do the night before. (i.e., "bum-shaking" is not okay, cheering and waving your pom-poms and saying "yay!!" is okay.)]

My daughter of course wanted two pom-poms, because that's what she had seen the night before. But I told her it was too expensive. It was then that I could see the wheels beginning to turn. She was accepting of my answer, but I could tell she was still trying to figure out how to get two pom-poms in hand. :) I told her that she could not try to trick her younger sister into giving her one, but that if she waited until one of her sisters got tired of playing with theirs, then she'd be able to have two pom-poms to play with.

Well, inevitably, the temptation was great and she succumbed... I overheard her trying to convince her little sister that she really was tired of her brand new pom-pom already. Since she had disobeyed me, I sent her to time-out. I didn't think to take the pom-pom away, though...

After a few minutes, I could hear her talking to herself. I paused to listen, and I could tell that she was sounding out a word slowly: "Sssssss....oooooo....rrrrrr....." A minute later, she began to wave her pom-pom and cheer from her time-out, "Mommy, I'm sorry!!! S! O! R! Y! Sorry!!! Woooooo!!!"

Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Can you tell this is the child of a woman who loathes competition?

Tonight at dinner, our 5-year-old was talking with cousin Mark about his day at school. Mark enjoys sports, and the girls are all fascinated with his discussions of football practice each day. Tonight he was telling them about a new game he had played in gym class. The discussion went something like this:

Mark: I got to be the goalie. . . [much discussion on what that entailed...]

5-year-old: Wow. [almost breathless fascination]

Mark: I finally figured out how to get past this tall girl and keep the other team from getting the ball.

5-year-old: [a little shocked] Why do you keep the ball away from them?

Mark: So your team can win. You don't want to give the ball to the other team.

5-year-old: [getting sadder by the minute] But that's not very nice, is it? I mean, we're supposed to share. Sharing is what will help your team feel happy.

Sunday, October 5, 2008

Allergic to tickling?

Last night, I was tickling my 3-year-old's tummy. She said, "Mommy, please don't tickle me. That gives me an allergy." I laughed and stopped. :) With all of the allergies in this family, I figured she was just using a familiar phrase.

Later that evening, she got very sick and threw up all over, poor girl! I wish I had known her "allergy" was really a stomachache!

Saturday, October 4, 2008

There is hope smiling brightly before us

Today's sessions of Conference have been incredible. So uplifting and so very much what I have needed. I can't begin to write even a portion of what I have felt, but one thought among hundreds that stuck out to me today was Elder Anderson's remark:

Faith is not only a feeling. It's a decision.

I felt it embodied everything that I've been trying to drive in my soul right now. These past months have taught me a lifetime about faith. As I step back, I am in awe of the answered prayers. For years, I have prayed to more deeply understand and obtain a true faith. I feel like these experiences that have been so painful and so uncertain have been some of my greatest blessings. Faith is so much clearer truly is a decision. That, combined with the marvelous talk on hope, have just reaffirmed to my heart and soul the kindness, the love, the depth of mercy and kindness of our Savior, and my ardent desire to follow Him.

I know everything will be fine. I know that all of the worries and all of the future that, in man's view, has no way of working out for us, will indeed be alright.

My blessings have been so tremendous. I feel encircled in Love, and I am so grateful for the joys we are given as we strive to become like our Savior.

Friday, October 3, 2008

Missing Matt

I miss Matt.

We've both been keeping very busy. And we have both been busy with good things, but that doesn't take the ache away. I Love him so much and I love talking at night. It's like we're in college again. :) But I cannot wait until we are together again.

But the thing that has been such a blessing in this time apart has been realizing once again just how good I have it. :) It makes me recommit, more than ever, to being the best wife I can be when we are together again. It has been good in many ways to have to realize just how important time together is and how so much of the silly stuff we worry about really doesn't matter, at least not nearly as much as just being together. :)

I Love you, Matt. I can't wait to talk soon, and to see you again. :)

Wednesday, October 1, 2008


Our baby has been crawling a bit for a short time now, but I haven't caught her on tape until tonight! She is getting so big! :) We love her so much, and I am glad I finally caught it so her daddy can see it, too.

We Love you, daddy!