Sunday, October 19, 2008


The whole concept of "home" has been on my mind a great deal lately. Yesterday we finished packing up everything from our home out here (and I am inexpressibly grateful to those who did it all). I was surprised by my reaction when it was all was a mixture of love and exhaustion, I think. When I walked through my sweet little home to shut off all of the lights, I cried quite a lot. I felt like I was leaving a dear friend. This home has been a cherished sanctuary where I have welcomed babies home, rocked them to sleep, and loved my husband and family.

As I drove back to mom and dad's home, I thought about home and where it would be now and how I would make it "home" again. When I arrived, dad was on the porch steps with the girls, who shouted, "Mommy, you're home!!" Inside, mom greeted me with birthday cake and a big "Welcome home!" When I talked to Matt that evening, he said, "I miss you so much. I can't wait until you're home."

Today in church the children were practicing for their big primary presentation that they have every year. Being in primary myself until recently, I knew all of the songs and sang along to help my girls feel more at home in the new group. They were really struggling at church today and I caught myself wondering if I would ever be able to create home for my family again, after this big upheaval. I silently prayed for help.

Not long after that prayer, the children began to sing their next song, entitled "Home." It's a song that talks about love and kindness and fathers and mothers and children, and I started to cry as I heard it, because I wanted to create that peace in my family again. But when the children started on the third verse, my heart filled with peace.
Home is where our Father,
Who dwells in heaven above,
Guides us in the way we live
And lets us feel His love.
Home is not so much where you live or what's happening right then, nearly as much as it is a state of living your life with your Heavenly Father. Home is His love, His kindness, and His guidance.

I left one home yesterday, and tomorrow I am leaving another dear home, my dad and mom's home, and starting for Matt, who is waiting for us at our new home. But I feel peace in knowing that home is where our Father guides and loves us.


Libby Olenslager said...

Wow. You are pretty much the most awesome person ever! I can already tell that you will have absolutely no problem creating a wonderful home for your beautiful family! You are great!!

The Hughes' said...

I love that! Thank you for writing this! If you knew me better this wouldn't come as a shock, but I cried when I read it! I love that feeling of home and hope we have the feeling now in all of our future homes!

Jason Calton said...

In the arms of Christ we find comfort in all things. I am so sorry that I was unable to be there for you guys and I feel so guilty that I was not there . I love you guys so much and when I read your blog tonight I began to weep for the dear friends who taught me so much about love and HOME and that they are now officially gone.My prayers are with you and I deeply miss you guys , may the Spirit be with you and keep you safe, Please don't be a stranger in calls and chats.

Tara and Dan said...

I may be a bit behind because I think you're in your new home now... I've gotta keep reading!