Monday, January 26, 2009

The Red Thread

This past week has been very hard. Last night, Matt helped me a lot and I felt so blessed, but this morning the temptation did come...just stay in bed. Discouragement is one of the things I seem to be fighting the most right now. I know I can do it, but there are times it just seems overwhelming. I have felt so little and so criticized this week that at times I have felt like giving up. But I prayed hard this morning and I got up and headed for the shower.

When I got out and started to get dressed in the warm bathroom, trying to speak positively to myself, I suddenly stopped still. A warm scent was suddenly all around me.

Scent is a powerful memory...for me, nothing brings back a memory like a scent does. This particular scent was one I haven't smelled in years. It was my Grandma. My Grandma has been gone for years, but the scent of her is something I still remember. Some of my sweetest and most cherished childhood memories revolve around my Grandma Cottam...her warm, comforting scent, the smell of her store room, the sound of her clock, her warm soft hugs when I would just breathe her in, her quiet, sunlit bedroom, her sweet little laugh and smile. Every little girl should have Grandmothers like mine.

My Grandma Cottam had more children and grandchildren than most people are ever blessed with, but she had the unique gift of making each one feel as if they were the only one, and loved more than anything. When she would hold me, she would always say, "My Ann." It didn't matter how old I was. I miss her every day.

This morning, when in a rare, quiet moment I was suddenly wrapped in that warm scent all over again, I felt her close to me. I stood there for several minutes, not wanting to move. In those few minutes, I felt like Grandma was with me again, helping me know that I am not alone, that I have help, and that everything will be alright.

The Chinese have a legend of The Red Thread, which binds people together who are meant to be together, regardless of where they are. I do believe there is something to that...we are meant to be with some people. We are meant to help and love each other. This morning I was given a marvellous reminder that I am not alone, and that I have been given so many people to help me to be stronger and better than I can be alone.

We do have help.


Jason said...

You know I don't exactly know what the doctrinal stand point is on the ability to have visit's from those we were once so close too, but I believe that when we stand in need of a little extra help from time to time those who were there for us before manage to be there when we need it!I had an aunt , my mom's sister who much like your Grandma...I miss her more than words can describe. I know that she watch's me and I feel like she's close sometimes too. So I guess I know what your talking about, It is good to know that those who loved us still do!

Chantile said...

I think you're tangled in more red threads than you know!! I'm so glad you could feel Grandma there! What a comforting, amazing moment! I love you!!

Tara and Dan said...

Oh. My. Gosh. I totally know how you feel about just wanting to stay in bed. I don't know what the deal is lately, but life has just seemed so much more difficult. I can relate with this post so much because I, too, have felt the closeness of loved ones at certain times in my life. Sometimes I don't even know who it is, but I can feel them and I know they are a part of me. It is such a wonderful feeling to know that you will always have loved ones pushing you along and lifting you up. I believe it 100%.