Sunday, March 15, 2009

Nighttime pondering

I've been in an off-blogging funk lately, probably because all week I've just been off inside. It's been such a confusing week, full of such happiness and blessings, but also full of confusion. Time seems so crucial. Sometimes, I feel like I'm standing still. Other times, I feel like it's all going too fast. I feel like I'm watching my children grown up before my eyes and I'm not doing everything I need to. Other times, I feel like I am desperately trying to change and grow, and nothing is happening.

Tonight I just couldn't sleep. My mind is so full of questions, so much wondering. What should we do? What is going to happen?

I got up and did some laundry, but felt drawn to my blog. I went back and started reading. It is astonishing to witness the learning and growth. I can see that right now, nearing the end of a difficult experience, discouragement is coming to my mind, trying to erase what I have learned. It is amazing how discouragement and fear can cloud and try to take away such goodness in us.

Just reading and remembering has helped me to remember something:
I am loved. WE are loved. It's all going to be just fine. We'll be led in every step, even when it's not clear at the moment.
I just wanted to write it down.


Chantile said...

I look up to you so much!! You are loved beyond comprehension!!! Thank you for always posting. I look for something of yours to read everyday. Going back on days you haven't written and reading what you've written before still makes me feel better :)

It's me, Jenny! said...

You would be surprised at how much your ponderings in your posts have given others strength. You have always given me words of wisdom and things to think about. I appreciate you writings.

Ryan and Evelyn said...

You are amazing and you have never ceased to amaze me every since I met you freshman year. Thanks for your strength and faith!

Nicole said...

hi ann. i would love to talk. i feel like we're both going through hard trials now. i'm just now starting to try and contact some people since the move.

i'm so glad that you like the book.

Tara and Dan said...

That's why I love journals. It's such a comfort to remember that you CAN make it through trials and that the world is bigger than the problem you're currently in. Sometimes it can feel so engulfing. I love you!