Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Passages

My great-aunt passed away this morning.


She was such a part of my life, that she was like another grandma to me.

Though I am comforted by the knowledge that I will see her again, today I feel some of the sad ache of loneliness that comes with losing someone who is dear.

As I have held my littlest one today, I have thought a lot about my aunt.  This wee one carries her name.

After I heard the news of my aunt's passing, which I had been waiting for for several days, I instinctively went and picked up my little one and held her close.

For one moment, I felt the same feeling I had had as a child, wrapping my arms around my sweet, tall, gentle aunt.  I could feel the warmth of her stove and the breeze on my face as I would look through the window of her fascinating little bathroom.  :)  I could smell her dainty smell and hear her heart beat through her thin frame.  I could hear her soft little laugh, and for a moment, it was like she had come to say good-bye.

One life ends, and another is just beginning.  The day feels bittersweet. 


I think what I always loved most about my aunt is not that she and her sister always remembered my birthday.  It is that I noticed, even from a very young age, that life had not dealt her or her sister the easiest hand.  They were alone, but they had each other.  And they always smiled when I saw them.  Always. 

Kind of like my little one.  :)  I've never known a baby who smiled so much, regardless of ear infections and teething and a loud, busy home. 

So today, I am trying to remember those lessons as I say good-bye for a small time.  Smile, and rely on each other.  See the blessings in what you have. 

I'll miss you.  I can't wait to see you again.

5 comments:

Rebecca said...

What a beautiful tribute to your aunt.

janine said...

Thoughts to you, Ann! I was very close with my grandmother and often feel her watching over my life as a constant presence! They are so much closer than we think! Lots of love!

Jessie Mae said...

This sums up what my heart has been saying. What a woman she was. I hope one day I can be just like her.

Nicole said...

the circle of life. it keeps us aware of what is in front of us all the time. so happy that little one is a reminder of that.

Kirk said...

I would send a long, warm embrace if I could box it up -- I guess the next-best thing is to ask Matthew to give you an extra one from us! Losing loved ones is always a tough thing, but there is a sweetness in the plan of salvation that can be almost tangible!
Loving wishes to your whole family!

Mom R